The good, the bad and the ugly of pregnancy.

Much of this year I have been MIA and for good reason. I’m pregnant! Yes, it’s a wonderful time in any woman’s life but what I didn’t realize was that it wouldn’t be all sunshine and rainbows. #letsgetreal.

My husband and I have been married for a few years but we weren’t concerned with having children until now. Maybe it was our biological clocks ticking away or that all of our friends had children and we felt like we were missing something. We decided to give it a try this year and we were extremely lucky to get pregnant right away. I felt excited to start on our journey to parenthood but it wouldn’t be so easy.

My first few weeks seemed to be ok. Like any other woman it’s terrifying to have to wait till you are 8 weeks pregnant to see the doctor. It felt like an eternity especially since we found out we were pregnant at week 4! Our first appointment was fun until the doctor thought there might be 2! WFT? We eventually wrapped our heads around it and were just excited that everything was going ok so far. I was pretty concerned about having a miscarriage because I know my mom had some trouble when she was pregnant but I hoped for the best and tried not to worry about it.

Fast forward to week 12. We found out it was just one baby which was quite a relief and everything was going well so far except a terrible aversion to sweets! I couldn’t have anything sweet without being terribly sick! In addition to the aversion, I also would get sick if I waited too long in between meals and that sickness would last ALL DAY and NIGHT! During this time I gained quite a few pounds and was having a tough time adjusting to my new body and it’s new needs. I was officially over being pregnant!

The second trimester was life changing and that’s were I really began to enjoy being pregnant for a little. I had my energy back, I could eat whatever I wanted without the fear of my body revolting and I was looking forward to meeting this little being that I had lovingly nicknamed “the hitch hiker!” I still had to battle with the fact that my body was not my own and it was really frustrating for me to be my fashionable self. It was tough to find that your favorite clothes no longer fit you even though they did a week ago!! I decided not to torture myself and put away anything that no longer fit into storage so I wouldn’t be upset and I was able to see just what I needed to buy and what I found myself wearing the most. Out of this experience, I was able to create a capsule wardrobe which has become the fad these days and I must say pregnancy is the prefect time for such a wardrobe change! I found myself wearing a “uniform” anyway and this helped me to live with less pieces which was a goal I wanted to accomplish before becoming pregnant. I am still ready to be done with my pregnancy but I’m able to deal with the symptoms better so far. I know the third trimester will be a little more difficult but it will be short lived. I’m in the home stretch now and with only roughly 16 weeks left…..I’ve got this! Or so I hope!

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We live with the scars we choose…..

I recently worked up the guts to go to a tattoo shop and get some tattoos I’ve always wanted. Yes, my bubbly, little, Elle Woods looking self finally worked up the nerve at 30 years old. Not sure how I made it through 4 years of art school without getting something inked on my body, maybe because I spent ALL of my money on art supplies or fabric but not sure. Was this was my quarter year crisis or just the whole “rebranding” theme that I am currently in? Either way, I set my mind to do something and I did it.

I was pleasantly surprised with the whole process and couldn’t wait to get more!┬áThis naturally, led me to do some research on what my next tattoo would be. Choosing what you place on your body forever, or until you save up to get it removed, is kind of a big deal. One tattoo that kept popping up in my searches was a simple quote that says “we live with the scars we choose.” This quote seems like it was meant for me. Obviously, a tattoo can be like a scar that we choose to live with but it got me thinking. Do we live with the scars we choose….emotionally?

This makes me think about unrequited love and the people who have hurt me emotionally and have ‘scarred’ me for life. Maybe it is really me choosing to live with these constant reminders of former loves and not allowing myself to heal and move on. I know time can heal wounds and that it is best to keep living your life. For a long time, I tried to do that and just when I would forget about the pain, something would happen to remind me of what I missed.

I know we have more control over our lives than we think. I also know that no one can make you feel inferior without your consent and maybe it applies to emotional baggage as well. Maybe, we carry around these scars with us because we are afraid of forgetting what made us feel good.

As I keep moving on and reimagining my life, I am beginning to think that it’s time to deal with the facts and move on without really caring what happens. I refuse to carry these scars with me and will continue to choose the scars I live with. Which will most definitely be another tattoo and maybe this inspirational quote….who knows.

Rebranding

As I am getting older, the term “rebranding” has become prevalent in my mind. It’s fine to go through your 20’s not knowing what you want or where you want to be but once you turn 30, it’s not cute anymore! I’m not saying I need to have everything figured out but I’m thinking it might not hurt to dig down, deep into my soul and find out just what makes me tick and why.┬áMy 20’s were spent riding the roller coaster of life and doing most people do: fall in love, get married and have puppies! This is all wonderful until you wake up at 30 years old and realize that this isn’t only what defines who I am and make sure to “rebrand” my life. I am reminded of the quote: “Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it turned into a butter fly.” ~Proverb. It sums up everything that has been going through my mind recently. Who am I, what do I want out of life and where do I want to be? All of these are questions that I have been avoiding for as long as I could! I am beginning a new journey to answer those questions and find out what my next steps will be. It’s fall and fall is a time for change and what better way to change to the next season than with a new mind set and taking the time to invest in myself because I am the greatest brand I will ever have!